Some folks actually think that being fat is a choice; like I woke up one day and said, "Self, wouldn't you be happier as an obese woman? Wouldn't you like to be able to eat anything you want AND gain enough weight to make your knees creak when you walk... to gain weight until you huff and puff just reaching for an extra donut? Doesn't that sound like a deliciously sweet life, Self?" And with that, I would have made a conscious, well informed decision to gain enough weight that I could be split into two medium sized people.
I don't know about you, but I never had that conversation with myself and I certainly never made that conscious choice to grow from a painfully thin adolescent into an obese woman with diabetes, high cholesterol, and absolutely no cartilage left in her knees. And once these things happened, I did not continue to make this stubborn decision to hurt my body and self esteem... at least, not consciously.
Let me ask you... How many of you folks believe you are fat because it seemed like the right thing to do? How many of you wish you could gain enough weight to make walking an excruciating process? Do any of you obsess about being able to ride an electric scooter, because it seems so damn glamorous? And, gee, wouldn't it be fun to have people whisper and point and laugh about your fat butt as you walk by? Just how many of you would raise your hand and say amen to being unable to run and play and jump with your children?
"But you like to eat, don't you? That's why you are fat." Someone actually said this to me, in a distinctly quiet and sober tone. "Maybe you should go on a diet." Ya think? Unfortunately, this one sided conversation happened at a time when my self esteem was at an all time low and all I could feel was shame and the undeniable truth of what they were telling me.
It was all my fault that I was miserable, because I liked to eat and I was fat and the diets were incredibly awful. It was also at a time that the world had no tolerance for obese people and diets were viewed as a penance for being out of sync with the "normal people". Half a grapefruit and a quarter cup of cottage cheese for breakfast, followed by a hamburger patty and carrots for lunch and a cup of salad with a teaspoon of oil and vinegar for dinner. Yum yum. Sign me up now.
If that conversation were to happen today, I envision my response being, "Yes, I like to eat. Do you like to eat? Please take that potato chip out of your mouth and tell me that you don't like to eat." Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I wouldn't say this, because I believe in kindness and the people who insist on saying such foolish things are victims of their own ignorance. If I want this world to change and be more informed and loving, then I need to take the high road and respond without contempt. I need to initiate understanding for the path of obesity in all of it's many forms.
Some people gain weight through their genetics; some have an eating disorder; and still others have no understanding of the ridiculous calories in junk food, until it is too late. FYI, I recently took a "free day" from my self imposed diet, which I will tell you about later. It was Super Bowl Sunday and we ordered a Papa Murphy's Family size pizza - the Murphy's Combo. While recording the caloric content of my slice of pizza, I discovered that the total calories in a Murphy's Combo Family Size pizza is 4,277, meaning that a 1/12 slice of pizza equals 355 calories. Wow... to think that I used to eat 4 slices at one sitting is incredible. I was eating at least 1420 calories for one meal, which didn't include any cheesy bread or hot wings or chips. You get the picture.
There are a myriad of reasons that we become obese, and just as many reasons why we have trouble with weight loss... but no one that I have ever met has become obese because they were dying to check out the "Obese Lifestyle". No one in their right mind would ever choose to take on the pain and shame and life threatening reality of obesity.
Being fat is not a choice. Accepting who you are is a choice. Deciding who you want to be is a choice. And these choices do not have to conform to anyone else's choices. For me, I want to lose weight. I am tired of "being fat". I am tired of working so damn hard just to walk from point A to B. I am tired of the excruciating pain in my knees and I am tired of pretending that it doesn't matter. Don't get me wrong. I am not tired of being me... I just want to explore a different path that may give me more comfort than the path I walked in my youth.
I don't want to be thin because being thin is attractive and cool. I no longer believe in the fairy tale world of magazine models. I want to be less fat, because I want to walk anywhere I choose to walk; I want to dance and dance and dance without thought to my knees; and I want to take back my life from the diabolical hands of diabetes and it's many allies. I choose to live my life free.
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{It has come to my attention that some folks are having a hard time with adding comments to this post. If you are interested in adding a comment, I would be more than happy to listen to what you have to say. All you need to do is locate the following line just under this post:
Click on 5 commentsYou will be given access to the Comment Section, in order to read others thoughts, as well as leave your own post. Make sure you click on the blue Publish button to make certain your comment is registered. Thank you so much for your feedback!}
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I don't know about you, but I never had that conversation with myself and I certainly never made that conscious choice to grow from a painfully thin adolescent into an obese woman with diabetes, high cholesterol, and absolutely no cartilage left in her knees. And once these things happened, I did not continue to make this stubborn decision to hurt my body and self esteem... at least, not consciously.
Let me ask you... How many of you folks believe you are fat because it seemed like the right thing to do? How many of you wish you could gain enough weight to make walking an excruciating process? Do any of you obsess about being able to ride an electric scooter, because it seems so damn glamorous? And, gee, wouldn't it be fun to have people whisper and point and laugh about your fat butt as you walk by? Just how many of you would raise your hand and say amen to being unable to run and play and jump with your children?
"But you like to eat, don't you? That's why you are fat." Someone actually said this to me, in a distinctly quiet and sober tone. "Maybe you should go on a diet." Ya think? Unfortunately, this one sided conversation happened at a time when my self esteem was at an all time low and all I could feel was shame and the undeniable truth of what they were telling me.
It was all my fault that I was miserable, because I liked to eat and I was fat and the diets were incredibly awful. It was also at a time that the world had no tolerance for obese people and diets were viewed as a penance for being out of sync with the "normal people". Half a grapefruit and a quarter cup of cottage cheese for breakfast, followed by a hamburger patty and carrots for lunch and a cup of salad with a teaspoon of oil and vinegar for dinner. Yum yum. Sign me up now.
If that conversation were to happen today, I envision my response being, "Yes, I like to eat. Do you like to eat? Please take that potato chip out of your mouth and tell me that you don't like to eat." Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I wouldn't say this, because I believe in kindness and the people who insist on saying such foolish things are victims of their own ignorance. If I want this world to change and be more informed and loving, then I need to take the high road and respond without contempt. I need to initiate understanding for the path of obesity in all of it's many forms.
Some people gain weight through their genetics; some have an eating disorder; and still others have no understanding of the ridiculous calories in junk food, until it is too late. FYI, I recently took a "free day" from my self imposed diet, which I will tell you about later. It was Super Bowl Sunday and we ordered a Papa Murphy's Family size pizza - the Murphy's Combo. While recording the caloric content of my slice of pizza, I discovered that the total calories in a Murphy's Combo Family Size pizza is 4,277, meaning that a 1/12 slice of pizza equals 355 calories. Wow... to think that I used to eat 4 slices at one sitting is incredible. I was eating at least 1420 calories for one meal, which didn't include any cheesy bread or hot wings or chips. You get the picture.
There are a myriad of reasons that we become obese, and just as many reasons why we have trouble with weight loss... but no one that I have ever met has become obese because they were dying to check out the "Obese Lifestyle". No one in their right mind would ever choose to take on the pain and shame and life threatening reality of obesity.
Being fat is not a choice. Accepting who you are is a choice. Deciding who you want to be is a choice. And these choices do not have to conform to anyone else's choices. For me, I want to lose weight. I am tired of "being fat". I am tired of working so damn hard just to walk from point A to B. I am tired of the excruciating pain in my knees and I am tired of pretending that it doesn't matter. Don't get me wrong. I am not tired of being me... I just want to explore a different path that may give me more comfort than the path I walked in my youth.
I don't want to be thin because being thin is attractive and cool. I no longer believe in the fairy tale world of magazine models. I want to be less fat, because I want to walk anywhere I choose to walk; I want to dance and dance and dance without thought to my knees; and I want to take back my life from the diabolical hands of diabetes and it's many allies. I choose to live my life free.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{It has come to my attention that some folks are having a hard time with adding comments to this post. If you are interested in adding a comment, I would be more than happy to listen to what you have to say. All you need to do is locate the following line just under this post:
Click on 5 commentsYou will be given access to the Comment Section, in order to read others thoughts, as well as leave your own post. Make sure you click on the blue Publish button to make certain your comment is registered. Thank you so much for your feedback!}
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